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12:41pm on Sunday, 12th June, 2016:
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Here's a list of arguments that I've encountered so far as part of the Brexit referendum campaign. Choose one side to be RIGHT and the other side to be WRONG: it doesn't matter which is which because they're completely interchangeable.
This foreign leader believes the interests of their own country will be best served if you vote RIGHT.
This captain of industry believes their company will make most money if you vote RIGHT.
This politician wants you to vote RIGHT because their future is going to burn in flames otherwise.
These biased, simple figures show why the UK would be better off if you vote RIGHT.
This biased, complex analysis of the WRONG campaign's simple figures show why you should vote RIGHT.
This politician who in the past always supported WRONG now unconvincingly wants you to vote RIGHT.
These terrible things will happen next year only if you vote WRONG.
There wonderful things will happen many years from now only if you vote RIGHT.
You people who distrust establishment figures should vote exactly how these establishment figures tell you to vote.
If you can't see why it's obviously better that you should vote RIGHT, you're just plain stupid.
Possibly the most important vote in your lifetime should be decided based only on how it will affect you right now.
These people you like, shown in flattering photographs, are all in favour of RIGHT.
These people you dislike, shown in unflattering photographs, are all in favour of WRONG.
Because of regulations regarding broadcaster impartiality, we have to pretend these arguments carry equal weight.
All the cool kids are voting RIGHT. You want to be cool? Vote RIGHT!
This remark, made by a leading light of the WRONG campaign, looks really bad when taken out of context.
It will be easier for the UK to trade with the non-EU part of the world if you vote RIGHT.
Three of these eight facts supporting the RIGHT campaign do actually support the RIGHT campaign.
This terrible thing that will happen anyway will happen if you vote WRONG.
The WRONG side is scaremongering.
This organisation that failed to predict financial disaster in 2008 predicts financial disaster if you vote WRONG.
The Queen keeps out of politics, but in private she supports the RIGHT campaign.
If you vote WRONG, the other EU member states will thereafter ignore the UK's views.
Everyone agrees that the EU needs to be reformed, therefore you should vote RIGHT.
This impressive list of trusted professionals who would lose out if you voted WRONG want you to vote RIGHT.
Here is some misinformation about how the WRONG campaign is spreading misinformation.
This shadowy vested interest has given money to the WRONG campaign.
We know you want facts, so here are some facts. We are unaware that these aren't the facts you want.
Listen, people who have already decided to vote RIGHT: this popular entertainer wants you to vote RIGHT!
Most of the speakers of the WRONG campaign are men, therefore every woman should vote RIGHT on principle.
This map of the EU and accompanying pie chart clearly show why you should vote RIGHT.
Readers of this national newspaper: here's why you should vote how you were going to vote anyway.
This group of people who are meant to be impartial want you to vote RIGHT.
Because of negative perceptions about voting RIGHT, lie to pollsters and tell them you're voting WRONG.
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Copyright © 2016 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).