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9:47am on Tuesday, 12th July, 2011:

Message from the Vice Chancellor

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Every month, the Vice Chancellor of Essex University sends all members of staff an email outlining the ... well gawd knows, actually, as they're so long and densely-written that they could include the words "a million quid to the first person who reads this" and no-one would claim it.

Today, though, we got an email that's actually readable. I was expecting it to be about Essex's bid to be one of the universities that charges £9,000 a year for all its courses, but it wasn't (because then it wouldn't have been readable). Here's the beginning:

Dear colleague

I am writing to let you know that I will be leaving the University of Essex at the end of August 2012 to take up the position of Vice-Chancellor at Cardiff University.

It has another four paragraphs, all equally short and easy to read. Maybe he's realised that if he sends two-page emails consisting of one paragraph to the people at Cardiff University, Torchwood will run scans on him looking for alien life forms.

Hmm, I thought there was something weird last month when the Department was looked over by the VC's obvious successor (he'd get my vote, anyway) for no apparent reason.


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Copyright © 2011 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).