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1:51pm on Friday, 29th September, 2006:

Tesco Vignette

Anecdote

I went out this morning with my wife, to look at some bathroom tiles.

When I regained consciousness, it was lunchtime and we were in Tesco's.

Some things that happened:

• My wife asked me if we had any potatoes. I said no, we needed some, whereupon she started looking at the tomatoes. Ah, that memorable song, You Say Potatoes, I Say Tomatoes.
• I couldn't find any Tim Tams. This was frustrating, because one of the reasons we'd gone to Tesco's was to buy Tim Tams. I asked a woman who was walking around with a machine scanning bar codes, "Do you have any Tim Tams?". She replied, "I'm sorry, I don't know, I only do stocktaking".
• We got some fennel, but the person on the till couldn't find a barcode. The price list didn't indicate how much it was, so she summoned over a till manager. "Can you tell me what this is?" she asked. The till manager went away, and returned a minute or so later. "It's fennel", she replied.
• A man in his 50s was sitting in the back seat of a car, wearing wrap-around yellow-tinted glasses. Maybe he was planning on doing some night driving or something.

A friend of mine has the middle name Fennel. It's an old name passed down for generations. He refused all pressure to pass it on to his own children, on the grounds that he hates it. I told him he should form a support group for similarly-afflicted people; he could call it the Fennel Club.

Referenced by Retail Roundabout.

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Copyright © 2006 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).